no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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