I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
