GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
