By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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