I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
