I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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