i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
