All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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