It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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