Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize