some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize