I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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