Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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