remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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