Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
