Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
