Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Pappa wants mamma naked
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
