I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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