i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
