Sry I called you an 8
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's shark week go big or go home
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
