i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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