I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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