Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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