Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize