you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
