So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am available for nakedness
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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