I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
being pregnant is like rehab
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
