Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
