i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
