I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
