Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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