I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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