I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize