I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize