Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
