I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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