I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
