so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I looked at my own cervix.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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