Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
