Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
