would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
