At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
