are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
