Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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