You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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