ugly people sure do ruin things
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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