There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize