as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
