let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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