I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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