Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
me + whiskey = a bad person
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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