Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
