I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
