you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
