Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
