They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
