Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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