you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
