I cannot find my penis.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
