I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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