i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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