You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
