I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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